Wish You Were Here

Today my friend Jessica Appleby would have turned 26. 

She was such a joy. 

Contagious laughter.

Always saying funny things,

like "Mother of Pearl!" 

She was hilarious,

caring,

and forever beautiful.

 I wished her a happy birthday via facebook. 

I don't know how to deliver those to heaven.

I just ask God for a favor in these situations.

Even though I know where she is,

I don't know how she's doing, really. 

I don't know how she's feeling,

but I do know how all of us here are feeling.

We are so sad...but trying to be happy. 

I watched videos of her tonight.

To hear her laugh again, to smile.

 Still haven't stopped crying.

 Sometimes I feel guilty for moving from Delaware. 

I miss all of my friends, my family,

and of course the friends who are like family.

What am I doing out here? 

That's what I ask myself. 

Living, I suppose.

And when they pass on without you being there; 

its indescribable. 

*

The video I watched depicted her at a Halloween party. 

Hanging out with family and friends.

And I remembered something someone told me:

A family took lots of family vacations.

A family friend didn't know if vacations were worth the investment; 

you go, spend money, and then its gone - not a lot to show for it all.

Then, this family's son took his life at 19.

The family's most precious memories are of their son and the family vacations they took.

The family friend changed his mind. 

 *

I think of all the things I worried so much about today:

My weight

My muscles

My job

My horrendous commute (haha)

My outfit

My baby's outfit

Dinner

Whether or not to workout

....

And now, 

it doesn't seem so bad.

Tonight's experience was a wake-up call.

To remember to value what is of worth.

People.

Family.

Friends.

Most of all,

LIFE.

*

{Wish You Were Here - Pink Floyd}