Light

 {created by Karen Nani}

Confession.

As much as I want to be good at it, I'm not really great at throwing parties. I know all the decor I like, the food I want, and the games to be played, topics to be discussed, etc. Its just not my cup of tea. As in, I cannot process how to get from point A -- > point B. I mean, its pretty pathetic now that we all have access to Pinerest, right?

I'm currently serving on our church's women's activity board. We plan activities that bring the women together for a night once a month. Each month, someone on the board takes a turn to plan an activity of their choosing. This month, its my turn.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow is my turn.

{anyone noticing the panic here?}

Everyone has an assignment, speakers are coming to share a bit of a devotional message, and the desserts are going to be epic (glow-in-the-dark-Jell-O?!), and everything is centered around light.

{Thanks Kyle!}

Where is my light?

Why am I so full of doubt?

*

I find it easiest to find my weakest link and pick it apart. As in, "Well, if you weren't a working mom, you'd probably make time to perform your church calling better." "Everyone probably thinks your awful for being a working mom." And my ever favorite, "Well, I'm a stay at home mom because I don't want to miss anything that's happening in my kids' lives." {really? then get off of facebook.}

At any rate, I know that I am where I am supposed to be. I really do. I just know the other side of the story too. I changed jobs (more to come on that in a bit) and that process moved in a way that cannot be disputed. I am happier, more settled, and things at home are clicking and moving so well. I even mopped my entire 1st floor 2x today! Go me! I see Ethan more, we play more, and life is happening - not just passing me by. And really? I don't want to miss anything either.

I just feel inadequacy. Hard core tonight.

I am thankful for good friends who smile. Who encourage. Who don't give up on you when you want to because its easy. Those past experiences have kept me afloat today.

I also made a treat off Pinterest and it totally rocked. Whew.

*

Now just cross your fingers and pray that people actually attend the devotional tomorrow night. I'm so far out of my comfort zone. Oh man. Anyone out there want to come? And if you can't come, would you take a moment to throw out a prayer for this? Thanks in advance.

eek.