Wednesday, December 10, 2008

i hate

The Christmas season is supposed to be one of love, happiness, and cheer. Let me tell you why today, I'm none of these 3:

1. Tyler just started working 15 hr shifts at work. Yuck
2. He works nights so I said hello to him at 3:00pm today and goodbye at 6:30pm. Not remotely fair whatsoever.
3. I hate it. I hate that I've cried twice over this. I think its due to stress. I hate crying.
4. I hate missing him. I hate it so much, it hurts. Well, it hurt before I hated it and now its just worse.
5. I hate that I have to take finals on my birthday, and that Tyler won't even be home. Definitely hate that.

Why I should be grateful and why I'm choosing not to be today:
1. Tyler gets paid really well for working in Utah-the overtime and double time (from Sundays-did I mention he works this 7 days a week?) are going to come in very handy.
2. I don't have to worry about how to afford tuition next semester (plus scholarships).
3. I don't have to worry about neglecting him when we're home and I have to study. Finals might turn out better then ever before, because, believe me: I need a distraction.
4. I have a very hardworking husband, who loves me beyond reason and choose to work nights so that he would be able to see me for a few hours each day. What a lovely troll-I want to cry when I think about how wonderful he is, but I hate it-the crying- and this is supposed to be the grateful column.
5. It could be so much worse-being separated for 5 months was looooong enough. No thank you, ever agian.
6. This season really does end :)

Regardless, I hate this. I am going to hate every minute of it, and its my party, so I'll cry if I want to. You would cry too if it happened(s) to you.

And above all, his kindness disarms me! I came home from the week of h-e-double-hockey-sticks for exams, and guess what he got me?

I just wanted a little bit of Christmas, so after he put up his grandmother's Christmas lights, he melted me completely.

I still refuse to be mature about this whole thing. I spent my entire life, so far, trying to be mature. I don't want to right I'm not going to be. I still hate today.


A little Birdie... said...

Oh, my dear, you make me smile! Didn't it feel so much better to vent it though!? HOpe things are looking up for you soon! Wish you were still here so I could bring you hot cocoa and homemade marshmallows. Now if that didn't cheer you up, by golly I don't know what would!

Daniel and Tiffany Dunn said...

Krista! Remember me?? i got your blog of Khia's. Its so good to see how you are doing! Volleyball this year just wasn't the same without you! Go Red head palooza! ha!

justified said...

that's right, you're totally allowed to hate it... haha

but at the same time you should enjoy it! i like how you're grateful column almost turns back into the hate column. haha, nice.

Alan and Kiersten said...

that is how it has been since alan and i got married. it bites. we hardly see each other, especially from Thanksgiving through Christmas. it's hard. sorry you're having a hard time. :( love ya!

Gates & Tausha said...

shoot!!! that really does reek...i would hate it too! (gates worked nasty night shifts last year and still has to work every weekend swing i really does stink! but then like you said they work so hard you just love them for it..but dont want them gone! :) i hope you did SOMETHING fun on your birthday!!! keep at gets better i PROMISE! :)

Anonymous said...

Oh, how I love a good blog rant! Love you, Krista!
- Megan

Unknown said...

I love you. When you are all by yourself, come visit us. You can study here all you want and then you wont be by yourself! That's what family is for!