Wish You Were Here

Today my friend Jessica Appleby would have turned 26. 

She was such a joy. 

Contagious laughter.

Always saying funny things,

like "Mother of Pearl!" 

She was hilarious,

caring,

and forever beautiful.

 I wished her a happy birthday via facebook. 

I don't know how to deliver those to heaven.

I just ask God for a favor in these situations.

Even though I know where she is,

I don't know how she's doing, really. 

I don't know how she's feeling,

but I do know how all of us here are feeling.

We are so sad...but trying to be happy. 

I watched videos of her tonight.

To hear her laugh again, to smile.

 Still haven't stopped crying.

 Sometimes I feel guilty for moving from Delaware. 

I miss all of my friends, my family,

and of course the friends who are like family.

What am I doing out here? 

That's what I ask myself. 

Living, I suppose.

And when they pass on without you being there; 

its indescribable. 

*

The video I watched depicted her at a Halloween party. 

Hanging out with family and friends.

And I remembered something someone told me:

A family took lots of family vacations.

A family friend didn't know if vacations were worth the investment; 

you go, spend money, and then its gone - not a lot to show for it all.

Then, this family's son took his life at 19.

The family's most precious memories are of their son and the family vacations they took.

The family friend changed his mind. 

 *

I think of all the things I worried so much about today:

My weight

My muscles

My job

My horrendous commute (haha)

My outfit

My baby's outfit

Dinner

Whether or not to workout

....

And now, 

it doesn't seem so bad.

Tonight's experience was a wake-up call.

To remember to value what is of worth.

People.

Family.

Friends.

Most of all,

LIFE.

*

{Wish You Were Here - Pink Floyd}

The "Honey - Do" List

Time for advice.

You know when you move into your first place (as in, the first place that you can actually paint the walls without losing your deposit) and you have lists upon lists of things you want to do?

I feel that most of my lists originate from the great ideas I get off of Pinterest. And luckily, Pinterest will save me lots of $$ in the end.

Here's my dilemma.

I can't do it. 

I mean, I'm capable, physically. But mentally?

Oi vey.

How do you great DIYers find the time? By the time I'm finished with a week straight of work (7 days mind you), I'm catching up on sleep, relaxation, and decompression! I don't know when I'll make the time to do it all.

Like, gardening - I really want to garden this year! Sooooo badly. I even have raised garden beds that are being donated and such. I don't have a yard as of yet (new house, new construction, new dirt - you get the picture), or a fence, or a pergola (which I'm also going to build with what? tools!), and somehow I have it in my mind that I have to have it all at once or nothing can go in. Whoa - where did I get that wacky idea from? I don't know.

 -  BTW: did you ever see the movie "The Jones'?" I do not have a case of keeping up with them  - I have a case of trying to keep up with my hilarious expectations that my brain concocts.

So, how you do say: Dear self (and hubby), We are going to work on the garden for the next month (b/c I work every other weekend), and we are going to love it.
    - and how do you say that and become satisfied that its not done quickly? (silly work, always getting in the way!)

Its the getting up and going that is the hardest part! Working out is the same way for me! haha I have to envision myself doing it and then, bam! I can do it. I'm attempting the same thing with the garden. Slowly, its working.

Mainly, where do you get your motivation for the 'Honey-Do' projects? Do you have a specific timeline or a checklist of things that are most important? On my list is that dang fence - random people keep walking through my backyard, and I am not cool with that. At least I haven't said anything yet. You all know how that can go ;)

Ah. The brain. A marvelous thing. That is why, at 2:15 am, I am up thinking about this "Honey-Do" list that I keep adding to. I'm sure we've all been there!!

Suggestions are most welcome! And so is a nap.

Ciao!

Crazy

{via pinterest}

Over the past little while,

I've been a bit down.

Not for any reason in particular. 

You know the feeling.

Just a tiny bit bummed.

Everything is ok.

Not great, but ok.

Partly, that is your own fault.

Partly, its life.

What's 100% your fault is your attitude.

Honestly, you shouldn't be happy 100% of the time.

That can just get annoying.

However, laughing has gotten me through most of it.

Life, that is.

I love to laugh.

Today, I had a lot to laugh about.

I only laughed at 75% of it. 

***

Now, I'm not going to give you 

the play-by-play

of how my day went from not great to not great at all.

You've had that day.

Remember it?

***

I read a story in a book I'm reading. 

I'll paraphrase. 

{from Eat to Live, by Dr. Joel Fuhrman}

A woman named Emily decided to change her life.

 She didn't feel like sticking to her plan. 

She followed her plan anyway.

She was addicted to foods that were bad for her.

She followed her plan anyway.

She craved diet sodas, pudding, cereal.

She followed her plan anyway.

Her son became seriously ill and her life spun out of control.

She followed her plan anyway.

He had to be transferred to a hospital in a different state. 

She had to find her way around a new city.

She followed her plan anyway.

The cafeteria food in the hospital looked comforting.

The candy was calling her name.

She followed her plan anyway.

***

Moral of the story?

Stick to your plans. 

Whether they are for dieting,

exercising,

spiritual growth, 

mental rejuvenation,

etc.

When I've felt weak,

as if I could not take one more step happily, 

I thought of this Emily. 

I tried to stick to my plan.

Occasionally,

I fall off the wagon. 

That's ok.

I dust myself off, 

re-tie the laces on those sneaks,

and try to give the plan my best shot from then on.

 Essentially:

I'm following my plan anyway.

Its hard, but the best things in life are.

At least that's what they tell me, anyway.

 

 

From the Land of Sickness

This February was the month that all were ill. Its funny to me, because its only 1 month out of the entire winter that everyone gets really sick - and if we get sick during the rest of the winter, its usually not a very long thing. But this time, man. We got hit hard.

Bubba Bear (aka Ethan) got double ear infections, a yeast infection (a whole story about that another time), and had a week straight of blowouts (thankyounastydiarrhea).

Tyler and I have taken turns with being sick - I had a cough/cold/congestion for 2+ weeks. Ugh. Never again, thank you very much!

We did happen to make it out of the house once or twice. And here we are looking a bit put together! 

Happy despite it all!

 He looks like a 'Who' in Whoville here to me! haha

 Trying to crawl - love the facial expression! 

 Just being super cute... you know.

 So close!!!!

 And.....back down again. haha

 Love this expression. He is so funny!

 The other day Ethan was sleeping on his tummy, knee in the air, holding his foot. Really? haha

 Thank you Grandma Sanders for this cutesy outfit!!!

 Say whaaaaa????

(I know he doesn't match; my apologies. But seriously, what's the point when you're changing him a million times a day?)

Lounging sideways...That's how we roll!

***

In other exciting news, this past Tuesday Tyler and I went to Orem for a musical!

"Seussical the Musical" 

to be exact. 

Our nephew, Kyle, 

had the role of JoJo, and he did a fantastic job!

I was so impressed with the production that I bought a DVD!

We went on closing night and it was fabulous!

Kyle even signed my copy! ;)

***

My cousin Nate just went on his mission, 

and we will be missing him lots.

He got called to speak Chinese in San Fran! 

I'm totally going to visit haha

jk

I wish I had taken pictures, 

but the farewell fell on one of the sick weeks haha

I can't wait to see him back again in 2 years!

Good luck, Nate!

***

Now, we're onto spring!

I really hope we are, at least!

And, hopefully,

it won't be so long until I blog again!