Saturday, January 19, 2013


 Today was a long day.
And upon further reflection, I've decided to write a little bit about what's in my heart and on my mind.

 There are times when trying to balance everything is really tough.
Then there are the times when you just do it without thinking, simply because there is no other option.

 Then, you see this little guy, and remember that there is a purpose for all of it.
A purpose for everyone of us.
We simply need to find the meaning of each day.
Sometimes the meaning we give to our day is our individual acts of kindness that save someone's day.
Sometimes, its sticking your tongue out just because you can.

 See illustration.

 There are days when we feel like crying.
There are days when we pull sad faces, just because we can.

 There are days when nothing will help the situation at all but chocolate.
And a really great cousin with a really divine recipe.

 Sometimes, I'm an awesome mom - I eat a treat and let little bear eat celery.

 And he loves it.

 See illustration.

All in all, here comes the point that I'm trying to make. For the last little while, we've been extremely busy. President Uchtdorf mentions that sometimes we wear our business as a badge, as if being busy was an accomplishment by itself. Over the last 4 months, we've transitioned from maternity leave to having both adults working, switching up day care arrangements, house-hunting and everything that it entails, endless meetings, church and the subsequent callings, Christmas and Thanksgiving (why are we always sick at Christmas? haha), moving, unpacking, misplacing my wedding ring (its in a pants pocket - but where are my pants? awkward, i know), working, not working, working, not working, unpacking, a mouse in the apartment and we are still catching up on laundry, etc.

If you're still reading this, let me get to the point.

As I was driving home tonight, I couldn't help but be happy. Content. Calm. Even though there is a lot still going on, I cannot tell you how much I am at peace with life currently.

I have a husband who supports me. And does it without a lot of complaint and perhaps without a lot of recognition at times. Tonight he went breakdancing - that's got to be a show of appreciation, right? haha But in all honesty, I don't have the situation where the husband doesn't recognize how hard it can be to have a baby all to yourself all day and then wonders why nothing in the house gets done. We switch - I work 7on/7off, and the daycare is only open M-F. So, on Saturday and Sunday, Tyler takes Ethan and cares for him. Today, Tyler not only took care of a sick bear, but they went grocery shopping together, stopped off at a clothing store to pick up a few new sleepers for the little guy, and then did laundry, had friends over, cleaned, made dinner for all of us, and then had a wonderful smile for me when I got home. And starting on Tuesday, I'll be home from work and I'll be able to return the favor. I wish everyone could have this experience.

I have amazing family.

I have women who I respect who work at the day care at my work who help me know when to move up in diaper sizes, different methods of getting little man to sleep, feeding little man all sorts of new solids that I bring, who love him even when he wees all over them, laugh when he has a blowout, and who commiserate with me when little man is grumpy due to teething. How did I get this lucky, to have a built in support-system at work? I can see him anytime, feed him anytime, etc. I can run down and hold him, feed him and rock him to sleep like I did yesterday. All while at work. Wow. Blessing upon blessing.

Mostly, a comment that my OB-Gyn made to me in passing while I was pregnant has echoed with me. I was a little nervous about having a new little guy around the house and whether or not I would do a good job. She said, "Well, you're excited for him to come. You already speak with love. That's more than I see in some of my other patients. And I know your child is lucky."

Really. I can't even imagine.

How could you not be loving? How could you not care for someone so tiny and so innocent? I know a lot of people are saying, wait until they get older and you will for sure lose your temper and not act so loving. Trust me - I'm not naieve; I was the oldest of four and a red-head. I have no disillusions of how I acted at times as a child :)

But I realized how lucky I am tonight.

For a moment tonight, I was on Pinterest looking for a good broccoli recipe - and then I looked at Ethan, rolling around in his walker. He would be in bed soon, and then I would be able to look at Pinterest without missing out on him.

So we played Hide-and-Go-Seek.

 See illustration.

 We laughed and giggled the entire time.

And while my knees are a tad bit sore from kneeling on the tile floors, and though my shirt is stained with spit up and celery/green beans dinner, my heart is lighter and my outlook brighter. All because I made a decision to be in the moment, making the most of my life.

The sleepiness from working 12 hours disappeared for that moment. I smiled more, laughed lots, and snuggled. Most of all, I found the meaning of my day today.

What will yours be?

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