Haus das Haus

The new house!

It was an incredible journey, and I am still letting it sink it.

We finally have our own space!

This has got to be my favorite place in the entire home. Ah, the kitchen!

There's a sliding glass door to the {R} of the island.

The island holds my sink and dishwasher, 

and could comfortably sit 6-8. 

Desk in the kitchen - matching granite countertops 

between the kitchen and the desk.

Living room...

the gas fireplace is a favorite!

There's also a secret tube in the wall that allows you to 

run all of your electrical from the wall

into one of the built-ins so that you don't have to see the wires. 

Nice touch, builder.

Tyler loves the banister.

That's the front door, right behind the banister,

that you can barely see.

The door to the {L} is the guest room.

View into the master bedroom from the stairs....

 

View from the top of the staircase...

This is a view from the top of the stairs.

Ethan's room and the 3rd bedroom upstairs.

Ethan's bathroom.

The guest bathroom is identical.

This is the "bonus room" as the builder called it.

Its more than half the size of our last apartment. 

420 sq. ft. of playtime!

Its an awesome bonus - a second living/family room, if you will.

Laundry

Walk in linen closet attached to the Laundry room.

I love it.

Ethan's room...

From Ethan's room, you can see the Bountiful Temple

lit up at night.

Its really a special touch I hadn't thought about.

{Fun Fact : Tyler and I were married in that Temple}

Master Bedroom

A view of the walk-in closet.

Its a lot deeper than it looks; 

it extends to the {r}

and Tyler just might be able to fit all of his clothes and shoes in here.

Although, I don't know where I'll put my stuff ;)

View of the Master Bath - 

I can't wait to put a door there.

Shower and soaker tubby.

Counter space in the bathroom! 

Hooray!

This is a view of the coat closet and the guest bath.

There are 3 full bathrooms in the home, 

4 bedrooms.

These pictures are all from the day we closed.

Also the day that we had the flu.

And felt like death.

We could barely stand. 

As evidenced by Tyler.

I couldn't stand anymore to take pictures,

so here's another view from my vantage point,

sitting on the floor.

Love the kitchen!

Bear {Ethan} sitting in my sink.

Its so deep and long.

Its so nice to have that space!

Keys.

Finally!

Another cute picture of Bear.

Trying to relax and not throw up. 

haha

Move-in day.

We could not have done it without fabulous family and friends.

Oh man. 

We never would have made it without them!

Thanks bunches!

More of the aftermath.

Tyler creepin' and we are definitely enjoying the fireplace!

My fridge came!!!!!!!

Mama and little bear. 

Loving the fire.

New washer/dryer.

Gift baskets from the builder, mortgage broker, and relator.

***

We have had such an incredible first week here!

We are slowly finding our things, 

moving in,

unpacking, 

and working.

Tyler and I both started working within 2 days of moving in.

Its been a bit nuts.

There has also been an incredible cold front in Utah.

We came home one night to frozen pipes,

a potential gas leak,

found out that we can't get TV or Internet for a few months,

couldn't get the keys to our mailbox 

(the post office is hilarious),

and other exciting happenings :)

All part of being a homeowner. 

Everyone that has come out to help

(Questar gas representative, etc)

has been incredible and so helpful.

We managed to get through this week

without too much stress.

Except, 

the stress totally showed up on my face,

via a giant cold sore.

Ew.

So, all in all,

we are doing great!

I can't believe how our plans have drastically changed within a few months.

I can't believe that we are homeowners.

I actually really liked living in apartments.

And now, I'm really liking this kitchen.

I can't wait to find all of my kitchen stuff and start whipping stuff up!

Oh, and I have a gas range and double gas ovens.

Awesome.

We also have a 13 acre park with a great splash pad,

jungle gyms, pavillions, etc

that's just 2 blocks away.

And we belong to an HOA

that has pools, baby pools, work out rooms, game rooms, 

a gourmet kitchen for preparing such holidays as Thanksgiving,

etc.

There's a lot of fantastic things about living here,

and that's what I'm going to focus on.

I am really looking forward to making new friends,

and making all of my current friends come over to play ALL THE TIME.

I hope you understand why we've been a bit absent from blogland.

Soon to come,

posts from our DE visit. 

 ***

Happy 2013!

Comfort

I was writing this in a little notebook.

Then, I felt like I should send it to someone I know in need.

Then, I thought, 

maybe someone on the interweb might need to see it.

With that said, 

here is what I have found 

comforting.

Hope you find it helpful, 

uplifting,

and ultimately,

comforting.

***

"I have a few thoughts that I hope you'll enjoy - I thought of what I needed most out of the scriptures, and as I wrote my thoughts down while searching them, I basically ended up writing this entry as if I was talking to you. Stay strong, and read the following:

Comfort - Consolation - Finding Peace in the Lord

- 2 Nephi 8:12-16
     Why are we continually constrained by fear? Fear of man - when we know that ultimately the Savior will lead and guide us through the promptings of the Holy Ghost? Why should we be timid in our beliefs? Have FAITH.
     2 Timothy 1: 7-8

- Alma 17: 9-10
      Regardless of where we go, we can faithfully ask the Lord to go with us. Especially since the presence of His spirit (via the Holy Ghost) will cast the fear out of our hearts. As we cast our cares upon the Lord, He will, in turn, say unto us, "Be comforted." We simply need to invite Him into our lives by 1) asking with a sincere desire, 2) living as we know He would want us to live, 3) by searching for Him in our scriptures, and 4) by continually praying (silently, aloud, in our minds and hearts) to Him. In this way, He will know the desires of our hearts, and we will not only come to know Him better; we will also come to know ourselves how He knows us. As his sons and daughters.

- Alma 31:31
     Here, we see Alma ask the Lord to change something. Notice that he doesn't ask for God to change the situation or circumstances that he is in. He asks God to strengthen him. Alma prays for the strength and courage to change his circumstances; he doesn't pray to have his circumstances change, or to have his problems disappear. This is so important to understand. We may never fully have the ability to change certain situations that may come upon us in life, but we can change. Especially as we follow Alma's example and ask the Lord to help us change.

- D&C 84: 88
      The Lord will be with us. He will be on our right and on our left. His spirit will fill our hearts with hope, peace, and love. His angles will be 'round about' us, to bear us up. All we have to do is invite Him.

Faith gets us on our knees; trust in the Lord gets us back on our feet.

Print this out. Keep it with you. When you feel lonely, scared, or discouraged, pull this out and let it light your way in the darkness. Remember that you are loved, so loved.

We love you. Hold tight to that iron rod of love. We will always be praying for you. We hold you in our hearts. Love you."

***

So, even if we haven't spoken in a while,

know that you are loved. 

Know that you can find comfort all around you.

Even where you least expect it. 

And even when you least expect it. 

* Be of good cheer *

And yet again...

I was working my regular 7/7 shift this week, when Sunday night, the most dreaded of texts came. 

"Did you hear about Sean Sumner?"

 Immediately, I called the friend who sent me the text. 

"What kind of news is it? Should I be sitting down?"

"Its the worst kind. Yes, sit down."
 

And, the dreaded news came out. 

My good friend, Sean Sumner, had passed away Thanksgiving morning. 

I feel that around the holiday season each year, someone passes away. I feel devastated every single time. How could you not? Every January, I find myself getting up during Fast Sunday in church and bearing testimony about the Plan of Salvation. I am so fortunate to have a belief of what happens after we die; watching friends and their families struggle without that knowledge is heartbreaking. You share what you can, and you pray as much as you can.

Sometimes I feel like I've betrayed my east coast friends by moving far away - the viewing was Monday night and the mass + burial was this morning. To not be there is difficult, to say the very least. I wish I was there. I wish we were all still here.

Tyler asked me how I was doing, and all I could think to say was, "Why are all of my friends dying?" In the past 4.5 years of marriage, I've lost almost 10 people. Over the last 12 years, the number has almost reached 70. The numbers aren't supposed to be impressive - I simply count so that I can remember each one of them. Never forgetting the impression they made on my life, never forgetting their contributions, no matter how insignificant they seemed.

I feel weary.

I wish it was enough to call everyone I know and tell them I love them, tell them thank-you, and tell them to stay safe. I wish I was still in touch with everyone I've known. I wish I was better at that.

As I hold my sick little baby, watch him cough, rub his eyes, and snuggle against me while he sleeps, I think of the ultimate blessing that I hope to continually qualify for - forever families.

Entering the Christmas season will always bring Christ to the forefront of my mind. He holds the balm of Gilead that I need; He holds the Atonement that can and will bring peace to my soul. And in turn, I will try to be His hands here, in the lives of those around me, to bear them up and give them peace. Sometimes, I even pray to God and ask him to say hello to my friends/family for me. I pray that they'll find the truth of the gospel. I pray that their families will find peace. I pray that we will all find peace this holiday season.

I am thankful. I am grateful. I am blessed.

Merry Christmas

Today

“This is the day which the Lord hath made … ,” the Psalmist wrote. “Rejoice and be glad in it.

Psalm 118:24

I've been thinking about this concept a lot lately. I've posted about it a few times, I'm sure. So, in light of this concept of happiness, I thought I'd share a thing or two I've learned lately.

This morning I wanted to get in some laundry-folding while little man was asleep - so, I sat on the floor and grabbed my phone and chose a conference talk to assist with the folding. The talk I chose was "Of Regrets and Resolutions" by Dieter F. Uchtdorf.  

There are a few passages that I really loved. They spoke to me, and reminded me that happiness is something we choose, regardless of our circumstances. 

Lately, (ok, all the time) I've found myself thinking, "Well, I'd love to hang up cute pictures/decorations/etc but I just live in an apartment - I'll do it someday when I have a house," or "I'd get dressed up but I'm not doing anything, so I'll just sit around and do nothing." 

I'm not saying that happiness comes from baubles or strings or shiny things (this sounds a bit like the Grinch who stole Christmas, huh). I am saying that I have a hard time failing, and maybe my house won't look like its from a magazine; maybe I won't either. And maybe that's what holds me back.

Regardless - Happiness comes from within. 

The best advice I've received recently is that once scriptures are read and prayers are said, facing the day is a little bit easier. [Thanks, Aunt Cynthia] My Aunt Nancy also told me once that getting up and getting ready for the day makes the day so much better - she is totally right. I've found that when I can do those 3 things: get dressed, pray, and read scriptures, the day is so much easier. I find it easier to eat lunch (which I totally detest doing - haha) and eating breakfast and taking that morning nap come right into play. Baby is happier because mama is happier. 

I know I don't have to cure cancer every day - some days its just an accomplishment to get dinner on the table before 8pm! And I do pat myself on the back every time I do. haha 

I have found that little bits of service make me happiest. Just calling to say hello, sending a thoughtful text, or even doing the dishes so that my husband doesn't have to do them every night {haha}. 

The biggest asset I've discovered is: patience with myself.

Being patient with myself means not getting down when things don't go as planned. That's part of life, and I'm learning to deal with it. Being patient means loving myself for who I am, and letting mistakes happen, and vowing to be better the next time around. Being patient means holding on for one more day. Being patient means having a positive body image. Being patient means reading my scriptures and learning from them. Being patient means learning to accept compliments and constructive criticism. Being patient means being patient with others. 

In the words of President Uchtdorf:

"Isn’t it true that we often get so busy? And, sad to say, we even wear our busyness as a badge of honor, as though being busy, by itself, was an accomplishment or sign of a superior life.

Is it?

I think of our Lord and Exemplar, Jesus Christ, and His short life among the people of Galilee and Jerusalem. I have tried to imagine Him bustling between meetings or multitasking to get a list of urgent things accomplished.

I can’t see it.

Instead I see the compassionate and caring Son of God purposefully living each day. When He interacted with those around Him, they felt important and loved. He knew the infinite value of the people He met. He blessed them, ministered to them. He lifted them up, healed them. He gave them the precious gift of His time."

***

"When it comes to living the gospel, we should not be like the boy who dipped his toe in the water and then claimed he went swimming. As sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father, we are capable of so much more. For that, good intentions are not enough. We must do. Even more important, we must become what Heavenly Father wants us to be.

Declaring our testimony of the gospel is good, but being a living example of the restored gospel is better. Wishing to be more faithful to our covenants is good; actually being faithful to sacred covenants—including living a virtuous life, paying our tithes and offerings, keeping the Word of Wisdom, and serving those in need—is much better. Announcing that we will dedicate more time for family prayer, scripture study, and wholesome family activities is good; but actually doing all these things steadily will bring heavenly blessings to our lives."

***

"I Wish I Had Let Myself Be Happier"

***

"We do matter. We determine our happiness.

You and I are ultimately in charge of our own happiness."

***

 

"We shouldn’t wait to be happy until we reach some future point, only to discover that happiness was already available—all the time! Life is not meant to be appreciated only in retrospect. “This is the day which the Lord hath made … ,” the Psalmist wrote. “Rejoice and be glad in it.”⁶

Brothers and sisters, no matter our circumstances, no matter our challenges or trials, there is something in each day to embrace and cherish. There is something in each day that can bring gratitude and joy if only we will see and appreciate it.

Perhaps we should be looking less with our eyes and more with our hearts. I love the quote: “One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes.”^7"

***

Those are some of the passages that I really loved from that talk. As the seasons are changing, I hope I can change too. I hope to shed some of those leaves of regret and spend the winter storing up all the good and positive elements of my character, so that when spring comes, I will be better then I was before. 

 

 

And, in case you missed it....

 Ethan was a monkey for Halloween.

And a mighty cute one at that!

 We went to Ty's work for a trunk or treat,

since Ethan wanted a lot of candy this year.

And Tyler ate it. 

(me too.)

 Look at that smile!!!

 I've been singing "If I Only Had a Brain"

from the Wizard of Oz lately.

Ethan decided he could take a part,

and become a flying monkey.

Tricky baby.

 Silly baby.

And, I wish I would have taken more pictures of his 2nd costume!

My mom bought Ethan this onesie,

which is a skeleton whose bones glow in the dark!

It was soooo funny to sit in the back of the car

on the way home. 

He just lit up the back seat!

 Why did we have 2 costumes?

Because my son is the Niagra Falls of spit up. 

Good Grief. haha

Thanks Lauren for letting us catch you mid-sentence!

Happy Halloween :)

The Ultimate Accessory

Let's be honest.

Hair is the ultimate accessory.

Mine is no exception.

iPhone photo.

Still,

you get the picture.

Speaking of pictures,

my sister and her husband had me snap some quick shots of them last night.

We missed the best light of the night,

as we went up into the canyon,

but I still think that they look amazing - 

that's what happens when your sister looks like a model.

Next time,

we'll go shoot photos when it isn't 37 degrees outside.

What champs!

I'm loving my weekend.

How about you?

Letter to the Editor(s)

I've thought about how to start this post

for most of the workday. 

And I've basically come up with nothing!

haha

I find myself in an incredibly new position as of late.

I can't seem to remember the simplest things!

 

Some are really silly:

1) did I email that person back?

2) did I text that person back/return a phone call?

(ok, who am I kidding. I never remember to return phone calls. haha)

3) where did I leave ____ (fill in the blank)

4) "Tyler, can you get the thing that's on the thing by the thing?"

(good grief! I cannot think!)

Others are a little different.

I feel like I was once an extremely motivated person. 

Maybe a little too much.

College was intense, not just for me,

but for everyone around me.

[I used to write all my roommates apologetic letters after each semester]

Now, looking back,

I wish I would have relaxed more and enjoyed the experience.

And, after I had Ethan, I tried that.

It was pretty nice!

Quite quickly after Ethan was born,

I was out and about, 

shopping at Ikea with my family,

walking around the park talking to friends,

and now that he's a little older,

we go hiking with friends!

 

Here's the dilemma.

 

I'm having a hard time.

 

Not surprising, right?

 

But with what?

 

I can't seem to motivate myself anymore.

I want to work out.

I want to eat healthier :)

I want to be more efficient with housework, etc.

 I want to be a fantastic wife!

I want to take Ethan out to do things and not be nervous that he'll fuss.

I want to go to the Halloween parties we've been invited to.

I want, I want, I want.

[blah, blah, blah, I know]

 

 And, instead of seizing the day,

I just sit.

Rest.

Take naps.

And then work for 7 days straight. 

Repeat.

Instead of doing the things I want to accomplish,

I find myself "explaining away" why I can't or shouldn't do them.

 

For instance, 

we're sleep training Ethan this week and he's doing great!

He's down by 8:45, asleep most nights by 9:15-9:30.

 

 And instead of working out, 

I watch Bones, the World Series, or fold laundry.

You get the picture.

 

Instead of going and doing things,

or even getting dressed up for work like I used to,

I now find myself nervous to do those things.

The getting dressed up thing is hard b/c a lot of stuff doesn't fit.

Hence, the working out! haha

 

Why am I nervous?

 

Simply put: because I don't like to fail.

And I'm afraid that I'll fail.

 

Does this even make sense? 

 

I guess that I'm having a bit of trouble finding myself again.

I felt like this after each semester was over,

as the study partners change with new classes,

roommates came and went,

and I was given the opportunity to change myself repeatedly.

 

I love that opportunity to change.

I'm not re-inventing the wheel necessarily,

but I'm trying to develop different aspects of my character.

 

And, in trying to find myself, I feel a bit selfish. 

Shouldn't my situation in life be enough for me?

Why can't I be happy with what's going on?

 

Honestly, its because I know I can be more.

I just don't know where to start.

 

Luckily, I have a super supportive husband.

He doesn't mind when the house isn't spotless,

or when we have homemade pizza for the 3rd time in a week,

or when I come home from work and don't look amazing - haha

 

He'd love to support me in all my goals. 

I just wish I could start trying to achieve them.

And the only reason I haven't started

is because I'm holding myself back.

 

***

 

What do you do when you find yourself in this kind of a position?

Let me guess.

You probably start doing stuff instead of just thinking about it all the time. 

haha

 

So, help a sister out.

Even the smallest or largest explanations would be helpful.

If you don't want to post online,

feel free to email me with those suggestions too :)

lilbebedol19 {at} gmail {dot} com

 

 Thanks for listening.

Two more days of work,

and then I'm off for a week!

Hooray!

ps - totally getting my hair cut/colored next Friday!

Suggestions?!?!?

Fall Photo Montage

Seriously. Could my kid get any cuter? Yes. Just keep scrolling.

 This is my favorite face.

Oh my! I laugh every time I look at the "O" on that chubby face. Just kills me! haha

Today on facebook, my friend posted this article. Its all about how moms are super self conscious about appearing in pictures with their kids b/c they feel unattractive. I read this after making the decision to try and have pictures with Ethan + I. Our kids aren't going to notice how our hips are a bit wider, or how I haven't done my hair for days...(ok, maybe you can tell, but I'm not stressed haha) or how my face is still round. I hope that Ethan can see how much I love him, how fun he is to hold, and how much his mommy cared to preserve a memory. He is darling. I hope he'll see how I tried hard to make him smile, even when it was so chilly in the evening mountain air. I hope he'll know that whether I'm here for the next 40 years or the next 40 days, I will always be his mother and we will always be together.

A big thanks to Nancy and her adorable son James 

for having us tag along for the fall photo shoot.

I always wanted to go, but was nervous about doing it alone.

So glad for good friends!

Happy Conference Weekend!

After all, 

Family is what Life is all about.

Chomp Chomp Chomp!

This week, we decided to start teething.

We turned 3 months old on Sept 24th.

Oh my. Where did the time go?

 I wish this picture wasn't blurry, but oh that smile.

I love Tylenol.

And I love that smile.

I love that smile + Tylenol the best.

 Tiny feets and tiny toes.

Teething brings a lot of woes.

Can't you tell we've all lost a *little* bit of sleep this week?

One bottom tooth up - the other is almost through.

Eegads.




Thank heavens for the best husband under the stars.
Otherwise, no one would have slept.
Tyler is incredible.
And so is baby.

We are all lucky to:
a) still be alive after my first week back to work
b) have each other
c) have the gospel
d) have Tylenol
e) have a *cloud* {this is what I affectionately call my down comforter - it comforts me}

Tomorrow = first day off.
Hopefully, lots of sleep.
Anyone want to come and hold my hand while I try and find my sanity? hahaha {don't volunteer; this might take a while and may not be too pretty}

I like challenges - not trials, challenges. The week back at work was full of fun and lots of challenges. Teething = trial. But luckily, the kid thinks its a challenge. He did great. He is doing great. And now that it's 11:30pm, I wish we were all doing something other then this being awake thing.

Wish us luck :)